Embracing group therapy and coaching with The Breakthrough Programme in France
Hannah Lowe reviews a highly effective therapy retreat in Bardou in the Southern Haut Languedoc, where she experiences sunrise hikes, empowering group sessions and clarity for life back home
I was drawn to The Breakthrough Programme retreat because I had never done group therapeutic work before and valued the idea of being a participant in a group rather than a leader, which, although in a different capacity, is the main role I occupy in my work. I have had lots of one-to-one therapy and was interested in how this experience would differ.
I arrived at Bardou to find a beautiful remote hillside village, which for a moment seemed unnavigable, but quickly became familiar. Although I had read the retreat brochure, I still had no real idea of what to expect. I was nervous meeting the other participants, wondering what the next four days held for us. But the facilitators, Tom and Andy – both different in their approach, but equally thoughtful – gave the group a very warm welcome and created a feeling of safety from the beginning.
“The Breakthrough Programme was a shape-shifting experience. The group work was illuminating: we explored how to go forward in our lives after the retreat, what we wanted to bring more of into our lives, what we wanted to let go, and how to achieve both. I came home with a much clearer sense of how to balance the different facets of my life”
The first afternoon and evening were relatively unstructured, giving us time to settle in. But the next morning, we met at 6.15 for an uphill hike to see the sunrise, and any barriers between us began to dissolve as we chatted on the way up and down. This was followed by moving straight into the main group work room, where Tom and Andy soon had us drawing, responding to the question: where do we see ourselves in our lives? I loved the drawing, an activity I had relished as a child but abandoned in adulthood, and as Tom pointed out, drawings allow us to access unconscious thoughts about ourselves, whether through the image itself, the scale, colour or positioning. All was relevant.
Days at Bardou involve small and whole group discussions, broken up with physical activity. The group work was illuminating – I felt incredibly well supported and cared for by people I’d met as strangers but left as firm friends. The group was mixed in terms of age, experience and gender, though all of us had professional backgrounds.
On the second morning, I cried in the plenary. My mother is terminally ill; I have too much work on and very little time to process things at home. Perhaps the change of scene and company allowed some much-needed space and reflection. My embarrassment at my tears was quickly negated by the loving and warm reception of my fellow participants and the facilitators. And mine were not the only tears cried during the retreat.
On reflection, I understand that the schedule is intentionally packed – there is little time for ambling around or lying in bed. The plenary was quickly followed by an outdoor excursion to dismantle a tree using loppers, saws and an axe. What unfolded was quite astonishing – witnessing how each of us assumed a role in the group to approach this task. This was followed by a reflection on group dynamics, emphasising the relational nature of our participation – dynamics which helped illuminate the roles I play in other group situations, whether at work, among friends or at home.
On day three we worked in pairs to clear one of the many paths around Bardou, and on day four we planted new trees under the guidance of Brian, the owner of the village – a symbolic activity which chimed with the plans we’d make that day – of how to go forward in our lives after the retreat; what we wanted to bring more of into our lives, what we wanted to let go, and how to achieve both. I came home with a much clearer sense of how to balance the different facets of my life, and with a renewed love of drawing which I’ve been keeping up since.
After long and stimulating days, we dined together in ‘School’ – the larger kitchen building at the helm of the village. So much dissolved between us during the days and over meals. Any assumptions I had made about my fellow participants on first meeting had been quicky dissipated. We met each other with open hearts and honest communication.
The accommodation at Bardou is basic – meaning a comfortable single bed, seating, running water and a few kitchen amenities. This is not a ‘luxury’ experience in practical terms, but the emotional experience was exquisite. I think the pared-back approach is also a crucial part of the time in Bardou – having to think where to place your foot on the cobbled streets and having to find a torch to use the loo – made me think much more consciously and intentionally about the way I live minute to minute, hour by hour.
Bardou itself is a magical place, set in acres of national park. There is a sense of history not only in the old buildings, where peacocks perch on the walls and terraces, but in the landscape itself. Christy, who facilitated our hikes and swims, was charming, warm and humorous and added to my experience in unique ways. I particularly loved swimming in the mountain water – cold but not impossibly so – and followed by a long hike home to warm up.
Our final night involved a lovely dinner (plenty of good food available here), with a fire outside and then music from Celine Nolan, a wonderful singer and musician who chose to sing us songs that tell stories, as we had been telling our stories over the days spent together. Celine is the daughter of Brian and Elizabeth, the family who live at and take care of Bardou, and who are themselves a symbol of other ways of living and were a joy to meet.
One participant worried that we wouldn’t stay in touch after the retreat, but the opposite seems to have proved true. Our WhatsApp group notifications buzz daily as we check in with each other and share photos and information. I’ve already met up with one of the participants to walk our dogs; another I am visiting abroad later this year.
The Breakthrough Programme was a shape-shifting experience, and holds the possibility of all kinds of transformation, and the forging of new and meaningful connections.
